i was thinking about the future ...

... while a friend of mine read my Tarot. She's an excellent reader, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disturbed when I left her porch.

In three shuffles I pulled The Tower three times.

The Tower is an unsettling card. Fire, lightning, falling on jagged rocks - not what I'd call a cheerful fortune. It represents a sudden, dramatic upheaval or reversal in fortune. Usually change is gradual, giving us time to adapt, but sometimes it is quick and explosive. This is the action of the Tower.

How you respond to the Tower's change makes all the difference in how uncomfortable the experience will be.You may have a burst of insight about your situation and reach a new level of understanding about it.

I think this is true about most things: it's not so much the things that happen to us as how we react to them. Our reactions can completely change the character of the things that happen to us, even if they can't change the things themselves. If I can take a lesson from something, then even if it is a tragedy, at least I got something from it.

They say that the lessons we remember the longest are the ones we teach ourselves, but I think the lessons that hurt and shock us are a close second. Ask any kid who's ever stuck a penny in a light socket if they didn't take some meaning from that event. I know I did.

Learning changes a person, though - the person who knows something is vastly different from the person who has yet to learn it. That's because the things we learn are so much a part of us that we can't help but behave and even think differently once we know them.

So, I started this with the idea that I recognize the inevitability of change and accept that there's no way around it. What I wanted to say next is that I'm not afraid of change, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am afraid. I think that's normal, though. People fear the unknown almost as much as they fear what they don't understand. That's why so many people are afraid of the dark.

I think it's good to be afraid sometimes - it teaches you humility and caution. The danger is in letting the fear paralyze you, and it's a slippery slope. It's easy to get stuck between actions when you know the next one is going to be unpleasant.

I think the trick is maintaining a certain amount of perspective. That's easier said than done when everything's changing and the world is out to get you, but it's worth the effort. It's important to stay grounded and see the world from your own point of view, but you should always be able to step back and look at the whole picture. From far enough away, even the most terrifying situations can become small and manageable.